Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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