she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
