I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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