can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
