He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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