I hope mine doesn't look like that
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
