Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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