the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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