Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
