There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
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Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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