He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
