it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize