Its about making memories worth repressing
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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