I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just cropdusted the office
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
