her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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