I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
