I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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