Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
