addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
