Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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