Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
