their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
