so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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