Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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