found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
