It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
