I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
