Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
