So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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