pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
