Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
