yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
