no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
