he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
