He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
