I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
