I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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