why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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