doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
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