I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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