people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
