I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ugly people sure do ruin things
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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