I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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