I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
