this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
