hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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