im six kinds of drunk right now
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize