physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
