I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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