the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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