and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she smelled like a LAN party
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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