I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
