office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
