I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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