eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
