Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
