he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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