Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
