I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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