Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
