This is not my ceiling
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize