my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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