all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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