Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
