The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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